Up and out ...

I always find myself distracted and at a loss of wonder, despite the natural beauty that still remains around us and I find myself disappointed. The have been moments in life that I've seen the world through rose-colored glasses, but in times like these where activity and focus take over, I find that the part of me that can't help but appreciate how amazing it is that we are alive is lost.

I long for the desire to gaze longingly at the skies. I'm utterly jaded at the thought of actual space travel, or a night-time adventure that once excited me. It's not exactly like I've experienced live so much that it bores me, but that I'm so afraid of not having something to do in my free time that I overload myself with plans and activities. At my first thought, I felt like technology and the availability of so much information was the cause, but I could be wrong. Once upon a time, people wrote letters no one was supposed to read, dreamed dreams that would never be achieved and did things because they were excited by them, not because it gave them a slight edge in life. Instead, we're left with Generation Apathy. It's not like we're not aware of our sloth-like state either. I'm sure many like myself wonder how our sense of wonder comes and goes so quickly and as a result, leaves us in mental states at the extremes of rationality and consciousness.

Some would call me a glorifier of the past and rightfully so - I'm a lover of history and someone who is fascinated by the value-added to an object just by time. Despite the fact that we've learned from history to get where we are, I somehow believe that we have lost our way. We've gained so much, so fast, that the humanity and love and wonder of the world seems to be missing. It's not blatant materialism, although that does play a role - it's our increasingly self-centered society. It's the blogging (not unlike this blog I'm writing), obsession with self-improvement (of which I'm a huge offender), the high speed of connection to people we know and don't know and the lack of effort to do all of this. We don't appreciate how much effort, patience and care it took to send love letters even 50 or 60 years ago and it's not like that's going to change.

A couple years ago, I wrote an article encouraging people to go night wandering around Cornell and appreciate the natural beauty and that sentiment should definitely be realized by as many people as possible. Here at Cornell, we are driven, obsessive people and our desires to succeed and win (because if we are "successful" we win at life, which is what every good Cornellian should want) are relentless. It is for that reason that we must try to slow down every once in a while and look at the world with a little bit of wonder. We're not going to re-create the values I romanticize from past generations, but a genuine appreciation and sense of wonder is healthy even for the most science-minded of us here. There is no formula for doing so - just practice and an appreciation for our curious position in the universe.

As someone who's both a heathen, god-less child and a scientist, I understand the awkward sentiment associated with looking at the world as a giant mudball hurtling through the universe, but even that sounds rather intriguing. The truth is that you have to not overthink the world. That's not to say that you let loose your unintelligent demons, but rather that you don't overthink the process of appreciating something. Appreciate the universe, the way the clouds part to let a couple rays of light peek through, whatever ... appreciate the seemingly simple or the devilish details behind the apparent simplicity - such as a pretty color on a bug, or the evolution of the genes coding for the pigments in the bug's exoskeleton. Both in their own rights are amazing.

Maybe I'm losing my mind and only I'm losing touch with these essential, dream-like characteristics of reality, but I can't help but feel like our generation and really everyone absorbed by our technology-crazed world is hurrying, both in our day-to-day lives and our minute-by-minute perceptions, and as a result is missing out.

I started this post because I was upset that the thought of a manned mission into space again didn't really excite me and that my kid-self would loathe me now. It's still true, but I feel reinvigorated to try and look at the world the way I did a couple years ago ... It might be an attitude-changing move that will trigger a part of yourself that you've been missing.

[Edits to be made ...]